home.

wow, i am happy (: nothing more, nothing less.

i havent felt so optimistic in such a long while. so blissfully blessed.

moms birthday dinner tonight was at the french restaurant vis-a-vis along chun tin road. the seafoods were amazingly fresh, and the escargots were garlicky yummy! the owner does tend to get abit pushy though – like for one of the desserts we had the chocolate torte, which was served on a tray that weighs 3 kg (i dont know how this information was relevant, but the owner seemed quite proud of his heavy tableware). and the waiter proceeded to dissect the torte, out of which oozed out coffee cream and (this is where i started getting a little annoyed) the owner insists that to appreciate the full flavours you HAVE to eat the caramalized banana with the homemade rum and raisin icecream and the torte. i tend to like eating things separately. so, banana, then icecream, then torte. he HOVERED around me and said ‘no, eat it with the banana!’ and wouldnt seem to let up till i perfected the art of combining separate foods.

that was that. but haha, thus far, im loving it. im happy (:

—

i’d wanted to write about so many other things – the hellish journey back to singapore, the chaos of heathrow airport, my desperation and the experience of being hauled on by complete strangers onto the london tube just before i got caught in the closing doors, sia’s delay and krisworld failure, everything. my new hair color and cut. family and food. but i thought twice about it, and im contented with just saying…

happy!!! (:

navel-gazing.

It is so liberating to free yourself from the shackles of your own rules sometimes. Brisk walking/slow jogging on the treadmill at the gym has always been a rather foreign concept to me; much of what fuels my adrenaline and (to some extent) self-worth for the day is this horrible need to push myself faster, faster, faster. Lately, however, energy levels have been dipping, sluggishness is setting in, and today, for the first time in ages, i ran at 9.okph.

And i was okay with it! :)

I didnt walk off huffing and puffing or dripping with sweat, and i felt alright. It was such a foreign, yet liberating concept!

Been spending quite a bit of time getting reacquainted with music scores lately, which is well, both a good and bad thing. Good because Laura has amazing music scores, and because ive forgotten how good it feels so hear your own fingers waltzing out a melody; bad because i have pressing academic work, and have been slip-shod in that department blearghz.

Over coffee with Fuzzy, it transpired that we had similar sentiments of…well, directionless-ness. to some extent. im not sure i can even articulate it. so two thirds of my second year is over; what have i got to show for it? i’d imagined skipping out of university with a passion and adrenaline driving me to serve uh (yes, embarrassingly enough) public service. instead, here i am, still very much a navel-gazing student, waiting for a God to drop her a post-it, on which would be numbered instructions on how to assemble her life.