i screamed, no, make that, yelped for dear life at the playground today. and it felt so good! the interesting thing is, i was conscious that i was going ‘argh!!’ with abandon, and hearing myself gave me the chills, but it was at the playground behind halifax, it was surreal, and i couldnt care less the people around thought i was a scaredy-cat. [what got me so excited at the playground? it was this harmless looking uh, pole. that's right, how repressed must you be to get all excited over a pole :p]
it was netball [or rather, captain's ball; or rather, half-courted captain's ball] followed by a childish game of monkey-in-the-middle this evening with rokey [1.9m monkey!], ailin, hengchin, enqi, and enqi’s friend. and the past couple of days made me realise how much i miss pursuits like sports – netball, tennis – or like the piano! i was surprised last night at myself – placed over the black-and-white piano keys, my fingers just found themselves able to reproduce Scarlatti note for note. And then Fantasie. And then Mozart. And snippets of Handel. The piano needed tuning, the sustaining pedal seemed to be exhibiting a life of its own, there was no one to listen, but playing those rushed few pieces felt…delicious.
good reason to continue yccf? see, i made acquaintance with aforementioned piano at yccf last night. yccf is a christian fellowship meeting, and last night was only my second time there, but i felt surprisingly at home, thanks to jason, hengchin, matthew i suppose. so even though i still cant pray out loud, and still feel like squirming when the church leader asks the congregation to pray with someone else, even though i admittedly still have an army of doubts with their full-metal armour, i want to let my defenses down. because those fleeting moments when i accidentally let these defenses down and stand unguarded during discussions about religion or during church services, it becomes apparent that these unguarded moments are also those which provide the most security. -laughs over profundity-
